What are some unethical life hacks?

 

·         A good way to get your friends to buy you drinks at a bar is to tell them you quit drinking.

·         After meeting someone and shaking hands, smell your palm. Guarantee they won't ever talk to you again.

·         If you want to sound sick when calling in to your work, lie on your back while hanging your head over the edge of the bed. You will sound congested.

·         Spill drink in the seat in front of you at the movies to avoid people blocking your view.

·         Want to go on a foreign vacation and can't afford a flight? Just purchase a one way, then overstay your visa and get deported for free!

·         If you're stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of hanging up. The other person will see "call failed” instead of "call ended".

·         Take pictures of yourself every day or week of you slowly getting fatter. When you have reached a good heavy weight, post all the photos in reverse and attach an exercise plan to sell.

·         If you ever want to be nosy and rummage through someone's desk drawers but are scared of being caught, do so while holding an empty stapler.

·         When you start a new job, tell them you have a pine allergy. When Christmas comes and they start decorating remind them and then work from home that month.

·         At a crowded bar, and can't get a seat? Go up to the hottest woman there, and hit on her. She'll leave in disgust, and you can take her seat.

·         Flatulence works well for clearing crowds in front of famous paintings at art museums.

·         Put an old parking ticket on your windshield when parking illegally so the parking cops think you already got a ticket.

·         If you're about to get in a fight tell the other person that you are HIV positive.

·         When meeting someone, tell them you are twice as far away from them as you actually are, and are willing to meet halfway, i.e. a block away from where you currently are.

·         If you're flying somewhere and realize you have something that won't get by security, turn it in to 'lost and found'. Go pick it up when you return.

·         If someone asks to see your ID, act affronted, yell "you're an ID!", and stomp off in a huff.