I'm a concubine to a sultan in the Ottoman Empire. What's my life like?

Statistically, you will likely never going to spend a night with the sultan (unless he was İbrahim the mad, guy was so thirsty when finally he was released from the “cage" as a middle aged man, he sniffed every flower he could put his hands on).

That means you would be low in hierarchy. Good news, you would probably be safe from most dangerous intrigues. Bad news you would be a push over.

You would follow a strict discipline; it's like a military camp. You are basically a glorified servant. Your quarters will be small and cold in winters (there wasn't proper heating in Topkapı palace). Many girls perished from cold related illnesses.

Probably you would face female harassment, psychological abuse and maybe mild physical punishment. You are a trooper in queen mother's division. She could decide whether you will spend a night with his son. If she is not alive, Sultan’s favourite could arrange this, probably just for distracting him from some other concubine, whom he seems to visit too often lately. But most likely you would do chores you ordered to do, like cleaning, serving for the members of the dynasty or for favourites of the Sultan.

You would learn how to play instruments, singing, stuff like that and some other female duties such as weaving besides Quran, read and write in arabo Persian script, palace dialect of Istanbul Turkish (very important it is that you can pronounce Turkish right way and you WILL learn it), poetry, manners, etiquette.

If you like music, great. You could sing and or play for the Sultan if he likes that sort of thing (many were musicians, some were even composers). But mostly you would play for queen mother, or just for fun with the other girls (there wasn't much fun in there apart from music and gossip).

You would be trained for how to please a man. Mostly non sexual stuff such as how to appear submissive and innocent etc. But probably there would be some extensive bees and birds talk with one of the more “experienced” concubines, if there is a chance for you to enter Sultan's bed. By the way, you may want this yourself regardless of who the Sultan is, for career reasons if you have any ambitions or just out of suffocating boredom. There was not much to do for fun or draw attention to yourself other than seducing the one man all the other women around competing for his attention.

But even if you want it desperately, it can be denied to you. Especially if you cannot hide your enthusiasm. Queen mothers prefer docile concubines for their sons. If you can enter her inner circle that may work (but probably you must not show any cunning, which would paradoxically decrease your otherwise usefulness for the queen mother, yes it's sort of a contradictory position).

Even if you spend night with him, likely it stays a one night thing. Queen mothers and (understandably) favourites prefer Sultans not to get attached to specific girls. Thus they could marry you outside the palace with the first suitor they could think of, after your night with the Sultan. No more one thousand and one nights for you.

Despite all the odds, some women somehow achieved to draw attention, even seduced the Sultan with overstepping harem protocols and hierarchies. They must act creative, “step sultan, i am stuck" sort of thing I guess.

Some sultans got sick of docile, submissive women presented to them, so a girl who likes to take initiative sometimes could work wonders with them, however it might equally blow back on your face. Some sultans were serious men who won't tolerate games.

If you try this path, be prepared for the beatings from other girls whom would be ordered by the queen and probably personally pissed off by your unruly behaviour. It's like as if you f*cked over your squad mates in the military. Your only protection could be Sultan's attention after that point.

Besides many Sultans were mama’s boys, usually they let their mother pick women for them. Especially when they became prisoners in the harem after 17th century, many were like that.

On the other hand, Marshal Sultans of the good ole times were spending most of their time in campaigns thus little attention left to give concubines. There were always local women after all.

Though some later sultans get extra thirsty because of isolation. They weren't allowed to get close to women because their chance to accidentally slip and fell over the strangler’s string dramatically increase if they produce an heir without taking the throne first. Once he gets the throne, queen mother might send squads of women just to occupy her son, while selflessly taking responsibility of the ruling business herself meanwhile the guy finally having fun of his life.

Though cage could also have an opposite effect. If you are one of the concubines of Osman III, he hates you because when he was in the “cage”, he felt palace women were acting as sort of his guardians. He is wearing iron heels so you can hear when he is approaching, thus you can make yourself scarce. Jump inside any door, hide behind a vase, and pull some Houdini. He is sick of concubines sucking up to him. He hates even the music (probably because girls singing and playing ud all the time). Grumpy smurf incarnate. He is also monogamous, no fun left in this man (there were some monogamous or mostly monogamous Sultans like him).

Though not all sultans were dead serious like him. There was one who supposedly fell and died while chasing concubines in the harem's bathhouse, glorious way to go indeed, respect for the man, an ancestor one could look up to.

One of the late Sultans were seen joking around with his concubines, he was in early 20ies and a concubine in her late teens playfully threw the guy's washing water over his head, in front of very old and serious viziers who came for an important state matter and couldn't believe their eyes (young sultan took his playmate’s behaviour lightly, though if i am not mistaken other women married her out thus got rid of her eventually, she could be pregnant while she was sent out).

You were a virgin when you first came to palace. And they assured you stay as one unless you entered the Sultan's bed. Only males in harem were the princes (younglings and older heir apparent inside the “cage" whom you don't interact with unless directly ordered to serve them meals or cleaning their quarters) and black eunuchs.

These eunuchs were picked especially from perceivably unattractive boys in Ethiopia (supposedly for ensuring them not to attract you despite lacking the necessary equipment), castrated by local priests and sold to the palace. One in three of them die during the process. You and other girls likely feel sympathy and a deep pity for them. At the same time you also feel privileged on expense of them for still having full reproductive capacity and a possible life ahead of you.

They are your eyes and ears to outside world, sometimes friends or even confidantes. They might satisfy their lost manhood with protecting new girls from harassment, or some of them could be even more sinister and ruthless than other girls. In any case, you both need each other.

During the so called sultanate of women, they were middlemen of the Sultanas, carrying their orders to pashas and viziers, accumulating much power and wealth in the process. They built mosques from their own pockets (which were filled with bribes from pashas).

Viziers and pashas could come to harem time to time for speaking with either queen mother or the head favourite. Unmarried or widower daughters and sisters of the sultans could also accept male audience in harem like that. You will never be alone with these men though, but you could be ordered to serve them food and drinks.

Other than black Aghas, there were ak Aghas, white eunuchs. They mostly do outside business of harem and unlike black eunuchs could not left alone with the girls (they were chosen from perceivably more presentable boys, what if one of the virgins fancies them? Gasp). Still maybe you could interact with them briefly. There were some famous commanders came from their ranks unlike black Aghas.

Also maybe you could interact with security guards, bostancıs (gardeners, who were responsible from palace garden as part of Janissary corps) and Zülüflü baltacıs, axmen with two locks of hair in either side of their faces. They were the palace guards. If they were called, it's serious business though. They were sent to kill queen (grand) mother kösem sultana for example. Because she ordered death of her grandson but mother of the boy, turhan acted quicker. Anyway, no interaction with the guards not related to work would likely be allowed.

If it's later era Ottoman Empire, possibly you are a Circassian or from other related ethnicities. Ubykhs were selling their serfs, Abhazes to wealthy Ottomans as concubines (in effect they were mostly getting married, not stayed as concubines, they were “mail order brides" basically, of course abuse, rape and slavery wasn't non-existent but usually wasn't the norm, their clans look after these girls if they were sold by them).

At the same time Ubykhs were “selling" their own daughters specifically to the palace to become mothers of next generation Sultans. Brothers and cousins of these girls also came as soldiers and servants, both to palace and other households where their female relatives were married. Thus Circassian clans were package deals. Circassian soldiers and commanders also served with tribal loyalty to the Sultan, not unlike Cossacks did for the Czar (those cossacks acquired “mail order" Circassian brides themselves in the kuban region actually and influenced by their tribal culture for a few generations).

So you could have been “sold" to the palace by your brothers and cousins, whom were possibly serving at or near the palace themselves as soldiers or some sort of servants. Regardless, you keep your contact with these male relatives and your clan network. You could even see them time to time probably. There could even be your relatives or at least clanswomen inside the harem. If you could attain favourite status, your brothers and cousins would jump up rank in the military, they could even become personal guard to their “in law", Sultan. If they were servants, they would be promoted to more important civil positions immediately. A bellboy could find himself as a mayor of a district after his sister enters the Sultan's bed.

In earlier times, you could be an Italian girl who was kidnapped by corsairs or a Ruthenian girl kidnapped by the Ottoman raiders; you could be Georgian or Circassian as well. More “exotic” nationalities like French could still be possible (although french ships mostly had freedom of passage from Ottoman corsairs).

It could still possible to send letters to your family back in home. Maybe even some money after you gained some rank. If you were a serf peasant girl before your kidnapping, like it or not, basically you passed into a higher status. But, if you are from some sort of nobility, your chance to enter the palace, and jumping up ranks once you are there would be even higher. Basically, harem women would prefer to upgrade someone who already had education, etiquette and other womanly skills rather than go full Pygmalion on some dairy farmer girl.

There were anecdotes about girls who didn't want to spend night with the Sultan and she cut her hair short before she “presented” to him. Sultan understood the jest and arranged her to send out of palace by marrying her out. So you aren't likely getting raped if you resisted.

By the way, marrying out was the fate for most concubines, whether or not they spent any night with Sultan. They were mostly married with some military or civilian officer or someone who does business with the palace, with a merchant maybe. Wives from the palace were sought after; they were courtiers after all, educated in fine manners.

Usually your marriage prospects would be at least above average if not necessarily outright affluent. Only if you are getting punished for some reason they could give you out to some uncultured peasant even if he is affluent (in case of the girl who rejected Sultan, she wasn't married to some buffoon, but not with someone who is affluent either).

Despite most of the suitors being eligible, for many girls, marrying out felt like a demotion. On the other hand, many others could be happy to found a proper family and ordinary life. Still there were letters which reeks of nostalgia for the palace from girls married out. Being close to power is addictive i guess.

“Courtiers" whom married out spread palace high culture inside İstanbul, thus helped to form a cultured community with higher tastes in music and poetry.

If you can get close to queen mother or a favourite, they could have married you with some pasha, bey or vizier just to keep an eye on him and making him a favour thus indebting him (you must be beautiful and/or skilful in that case). Then you have to do kind of mata hari work, corresponding with your sponsors inside the harem, influencing your husband for the interests of your palace allies. Though top of the top men were reserved for daughters and sisters of the sultan, you would make do with second rate viziers at best.

If you have prince charming fantasy, that could be possible. Favourites with coming of age sons could pick virgin concubines for their sons.

In classical period, concubines sent off to provinces with their princes. Upside is; you would mostly be free from cutthroat competition inside palace harem, you just have to suck up to queen mother and seduce his son, acting submissive and unthreatening enough while at the same time taking initiative for not to lose his attention to other girls, easy peasy.

Downside is, when the sultan died, if your prince charming lost battle against his brothers, he and your infant sons would be strangled to death. If he is a decent family man who treats you and kids well, chances are he is a p*ssy who couldn't stand in the battlefield against more cutthroat brothers and their beys. But hey, they won't touch you at least.

Women of the winning party could ensure you stay penniless though, Hürrem did that. Still, her son Selim the drunk (who later gloriously died while chasing concubines in bathhouse) pitied his brother's mother and allocated a salary after she finally outlived Hürrem and Suleiman, who says happy endings does not happen? (Mind you, Suleiman was the longest reigning sultan). Selim had both life gusto and a golden heart it seems.

The thing is, all princes call all their father’s favourites as mother. If you bore a son to a Sultan, even if your offspring got killed, his murderer would still call you mother and show respect to you as if truly you are his mother. In some cases he could indeed be your other son. You might even find yourself while inevitably supporting one son to murder other(s).

Still there could be a possibility for you to be married with a Sultanzade, son of a daughter or sister of a Sultan. In that case you don't have to fear for your husband getting killed in a little family argument which got out of hand. Your sons will be called khan. Basically you married into high nobility. Probably it is as secure as it can get in the Ottoman Empire.

Not marrying you after, say ripe old age of 25 could be a punishment. At that age, many concubines prefer to getting married out. If you are somehow too useful for high status women, that could also be your fate. In that case you would eventually become a “drill sergeant" for the next generation of girls, and even maybe sort of trusted aide for the Sultan, like NCO sidekick of a higher officer. Still he can have his way with you if he got bored by all other younger girls but it's unlikely if his name isn't İbrahim.

When rebelling Janissaries attacked the palace and killed Selim III, older concubines hid the next in line of succession, future reformist Mahmut II and fought off Janissaries with throwing embers on their faces until friendly forces came to rescue. Drill sergeants indeed, they were no joke.