Effective discipline with children is always based on respect for that child. Parents must always be in charge of children in a loving, firm, fair, non-harsh, and respectful way if the children are to respond positively to the discipline. If parents are in charge in a disrespectful way, their children could easily react with retaliatory, manipulative, or stubborn expressions of their anger or with tantrums.
By being in charge, I'm referring to being the one or ones who are in authority, in command, managing, directing, running the show, responsible, and taking charge.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
One more aspect of highly effective discipline is that the reasonable consequence must nullify the benefits the child gained through the commission of the offense. That is, a consequence needs to be tough enough that the offender thinks the misbehavior wasn't worth it, but not so harsh that the child feels disrespected. For example, groundings must be long enough as well as short enough to produce a reaction somewhere near the middle of (1) the child feeling the benefit was worth the consequence, and (2) the child detesting your innards. My Grounding Formula and my Grounding Standardization Method are helpful tools to use when Grounding is a fitting consequence for a child. (That's another important aspect of consequences-that they fit the offense.)
Parents have multitudes of discipline techniques from which to choose. When assessing each one, it's helpful to remember the two most important criteria: (1) the use of the technique shows respect to the child, and (2) it appropriately and sufficiently, but not overly, gives a reasonable consequence for the child's offending behavior.
By being in charge, I'm referring to being the one or ones who are in authority, in command, managing, directing, running the show, responsible, and taking charge.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
Perhaps the easiest and best time to help kids learn that you are the person in charge of them is when they first begin to dish out defiance, typically somewhere between four and ten months old. Counting works well with children this young, once they've learned how it works, and it works with all other ages, including bigger-than-you children. Kids of all ages are able to understand the friendly tone of warning involved in Counting.
One more aspect of highly effective discipline is that the reasonable consequence must nullify the benefits the child gained through the commission of the offense. That is, a consequence needs to be tough enough that the offender thinks the misbehavior wasn't worth it, but not so harsh that the child feels disrespected. For example, groundings must be long enough as well as short enough to produce a reaction somewhere near the middle of (1) the child feeling the benefit was worth the consequence, and (2) the child detesting your innards. My Grounding Formula and my Grounding Standardization Method are helpful tools to use when Grounding is a fitting consequence for a child. (That's another important aspect of consequences-that they fit the offense.)
Parents have multitudes of discipline techniques from which to choose. When assessing each one, it's helpful to remember the two most important criteria: (1) the use of the technique shows respect to the child, and (2) it appropriately and sufficiently, but not overly, gives a reasonable consequence for the child's offending behavior.
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Want to find out more about effective discipline, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for effective discipline advice for your needs.. This article, Effective Discipline Is Always Positive Discipline: Here's What Works And What Doesn't, And Why has free reprint rights.
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