Monday, 6 January 2014

The 3 Phases To Reclaiming The Relationship With Your Ex-Girlfriend Or Wife

By Alex Peters


The emotional pain and torment of a breakup can be difficult on even the toughest guys. You would probably prefer physical pain over what you may be going through. At least you would have some sort of idea of how quickly you would heal and a doctor could tell you what to do to speed the process. The torment comes from knowing exactly what will end your pain. If your girlfriend or wife would simply give you a second chance then the path to healing would be simple. You would have something to do. You would have a goal and you would come up with a plan to bring the two of you back together again.

Whether you were married to the woman that you love or she was just your girlfriend, the pain is no different. The healing process and the process of restoring your relationship should also be no different. Women are women and whether you had a piece of paper saying that you would be together forever or not, there was probably a time when both of you said or wished that you would be together until the end of time. Getting over your pain, rebuilding your self-confidence and getting her back will be the same no matter if we are talking about a wayward wife or girlfriend. It also doesn't matter what is going on in her life. It doesn't matter if she is with some other guy or not. You will see that these methods which are loosely based upon what is suggested to get a combat soldier through stress will help you to get your ex back more quickly than you might otherwise think.

There is a process that men use when they come out of combat that is called debriefing. You will use this same process to remove the emotions from what happened in your relationship. You'll look at everything factually and without emotion. You should allow yourself a grieving process before this but try not to get too caught up in these feelings of pity, remorse or sadness. As you debrief yourself, you will recount what happened, what you did wrong in the relationship, what you did right and what your ex did all in a very factual manner. You will understand what you could have done differently but you will not dwell upon this or beat yourself up for any mistakes that you may have made. There is nothing that you can do about the past so you will simply be learning from your mistakes at this point.

Beating yourself up or being upset with yourself over something that you did in the past is not healthy or helpful. You can see that you did things wrong but it is simply impossible to change the past. Removing the emotions from these incidents is necessary for your healing as well as for your success in the future. You are like a soldier who is learning from a past battle and becoming educated about what works and what doesn't. Freeing yourself from this emotional baggage is necessary for your success in the future. You are living and learning from the past.

The next step involves get some rest and relaxation. Just like combat veterans who have seen battle, you need a little bit of time to blow off some steam and live life a little. You have seen your share of hell, you have put it behind you and now it's time to remember what life is all about. You have survived and you will get that second chance with the woman you love. Be happy about that and celebrate. Today is the first day of your new life and it's up to you to decide what direction you will head in. Begin by doing things that bring you joy or make you feel good about your life.

Be careful and try to avoid many of the antics that most soldiers go through when they're on leave. Avoid drinking too much since this often leads to text messaging or calling your ex. Alcohol is a depressant and while you might feel awesome at the beginning of the night, there's a good chance that you could become melancholy and do something crazy like call your ex to tell her how much you love her or show up at her house. During this phase you want to avoid contacting your ex. Instead, think of blowing off some steam by spending time with your friends or getting out of town for a long weekend. Go to the beach or the mountains or wherever it is that you go to recharge your batteries.

When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.

At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.




About the Author:



No comments:

Post a Comment