Sunday 18 November 2012

How In Hell Did This Happen

By Leigh Bean


The words how in hell did this happen take the grammatical structure of a question but are actually an expression of amazement. They are uttered at various times throughout life. They may not even be uttered aloud, yet can be attributed by others to someone who suddenly notices something that has happened.

It starts early in life. An infant may start off his life sleeping comfortably between his parents, snuggling warmly between his mother's breasts. He may go to sleep one evening, perfectly secure and blissfully unaware of anything untoward. On waking he can find himself in a cold cot with hard wooden rods around him and absolutely no soft breast to cling to. This shocking experience can be one that remains in an individual subconscious for life.

As the infant advances fifteen or sixteen years further into life social acceptability becomes the most important thing in life. A boy may join a gang and a girl has her circle of best friends. Time rolls on and then there is a sudden realization that friends have drifted away or found themselves partners so that they are not really friendly as they once were. The young adult looks around in amazement.

Young people at the peak of the physical abilities are seldom aware of limitations. They feel that they can do anything. They might dream of captaining a national sports team or representing their country in the Olympic Games. Their thirtieth birthday might mark a point at which dreams of sporting glory might be packed away because it has suddenly become apparent that they will never be achieved.

Another decade further down the path a person might have become involved in an absorbing career. Domestic chores and daily commuting might consume so much time that there is little left over for exercise. One morning a man might wish to see his toes and discover that he has to bend forward before they come into view. He walks worriedly to the window and sees that a flabby paunch has replaced his firm set of stomach muscles. This seems to him something that has happened suddenly, without warning.

As if without warning, public attitudes to a person change. There is the first time that a supermarket cashier asks if one has a pensioner card. Then one begins to notice that some well meaning people begin to offer assistance, perhaps when crossing busy roads. One begins to take offence at smug young television presenters who sneer at reports of people older than sixty taking an interest in sex.

Perhaps a man will decide that it is time to indulge in fishing. He might have envied peaceful looking fishermen standing on beaches seemingly with time as endless as the ocean. An expensive rod, reel, line, sinkers, hooks and bait can be assembled. With everything at last ready the man balances his rod over his shoulder and swings, casting the hooks and sinkers far out in a wide arc, to fall with a sudden plop, as if unexpectedly checked. He glances down.

The man will not accept that the tangle of line around his reel is a metaphor for life. It is not. However, as he bends to begin the work of unravelling he might mutter in wonder, how in hell did this happen.




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