If you want to fire up someone's mind without making them believe that you are controlling them, you have come to the right place. There are two fundamental ways that you want to learn to distinguish: manipulation and persuasion.
If and when we want to succeed in influencing another person, we need to do this in such a way that we do not come across as manipulators: there is a fine line between manipulation and persuasion. What you need to do is learn the techniques of persuasion so as to be able to evade manipulation. With the first you can influence someone's mind without being controlling.
When you persuade someone, you are getting that person to be influenced to do something for you. Manipulating someone, on the other hand, usually entails the use of dishonest means, and here the ends do not justify the proverbial means.
What differentiates manipulation and persuasion comes down to the question of motives. If your are moral, you are not going to come across as a manipulator.
There are many devices of persuasion that do not get bogged down into manipulation. The first is to make sure you know how to say what you want to say. Just let people know what you want, what your purpose is. Speak up. Share your ideas.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you desire, that this would make you happy. They'll get the message.
Second, don't forget that your friends and relatives aim to please you. If they believe that you are a charitable person, they will act in generous ways towards you, too.
Also, listen watchfully to what your friends or relatives are saying. See if you can tell whether they have wants or needs. This way you'll discern whether there is something you could do to help them. Then when it's your turn to need something, they will be contented to rise to the occasion.
Third, be sure to use words of a positive nature when you address others. Don't make people believe that gifts or favors will not be rewarded.
Don't be the kind of person who is too fussy or hard to please; that way your friends or relatives will be reluctant to help you out when you need help.
If you are always frustrated when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you value the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
In the final analysis, do not remove yourself from the party of others. Remember the old song about people needing people; they are the happiest people on earth.
Though life is not always a bowl of cherries, it's fine to have people on our side when we are overwhelmed by the demands of work or feel depressed or tired. If such situations make your friends hesitant in your presence to see what they can do for you, get out of the way for the time being. But do call your friends or send them an e-mail rather than try to keep them attached to you in times that are trying.
If you remain in touch with people in accordance with the guidance given above, people are not going to burn the bridges behind them when you will be in need of their help.
In summary: people will be ready to do something to help you when you are down and out provided you have not locked yourself away from them, and have followed the counsel given above.
The only way to get aid or to provide it is to know what's needed or wanted. Just make sure that you don't abuse people or let them abuse you.
Learn how to apply the techniques of persuasion to fire up a mind and make friends. Broaden your horizons. Don't be a giver of bad news.
If and when we want to succeed in influencing another person, we need to do this in such a way that we do not come across as manipulators: there is a fine line between manipulation and persuasion. What you need to do is learn the techniques of persuasion so as to be able to evade manipulation. With the first you can influence someone's mind without being controlling.
When you persuade someone, you are getting that person to be influenced to do something for you. Manipulating someone, on the other hand, usually entails the use of dishonest means, and here the ends do not justify the proverbial means.
What differentiates manipulation and persuasion comes down to the question of motives. If your are moral, you are not going to come across as a manipulator.
There are many devices of persuasion that do not get bogged down into manipulation. The first is to make sure you know how to say what you want to say. Just let people know what you want, what your purpose is. Speak up. Share your ideas.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you desire, that this would make you happy. They'll get the message.
Second, don't forget that your friends and relatives aim to please you. If they believe that you are a charitable person, they will act in generous ways towards you, too.
Also, listen watchfully to what your friends or relatives are saying. See if you can tell whether they have wants or needs. This way you'll discern whether there is something you could do to help them. Then when it's your turn to need something, they will be contented to rise to the occasion.
Third, be sure to use words of a positive nature when you address others. Don't make people believe that gifts or favors will not be rewarded.
Don't be the kind of person who is too fussy or hard to please; that way your friends or relatives will be reluctant to help you out when you need help.
If you are always frustrated when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you value the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
In the final analysis, do not remove yourself from the party of others. Remember the old song about people needing people; they are the happiest people on earth.
Though life is not always a bowl of cherries, it's fine to have people on our side when we are overwhelmed by the demands of work or feel depressed or tired. If such situations make your friends hesitant in your presence to see what they can do for you, get out of the way for the time being. But do call your friends or send them an e-mail rather than try to keep them attached to you in times that are trying.
If you remain in touch with people in accordance with the guidance given above, people are not going to burn the bridges behind them when you will be in need of their help.
In summary: people will be ready to do something to help you when you are down and out provided you have not locked yourself away from them, and have followed the counsel given above.
The only way to get aid or to provide it is to know what's needed or wanted. Just make sure that you don't abuse people or let them abuse you.
Learn how to apply the techniques of persuasion to fire up a mind and make friends. Broaden your horizons. Don't be a giver of bad news.
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