The natural expression of love, and its natural progression, is marriage. We have a celebration and profess vows promising faithfulness to our spouse in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. Of course we intend to fulfill those vows when they are professed, and we believe there is nothing that could keep us from fulfilling them. Come what may, we will be together 'til death do us part'. But once you settle into married life, the romantic love fades and eventually you wonder 'is there any way to save my marriage'.
The short answer is a resounding 'yes'. In fact, there are a number of options to try depending on your situation. Marriages are saved, and lost love rekindled, every day. You may feel your situation is beyond hope. Perhaps you have felt the sting of ultimate betrayal, such as adultery, or perhaps you have betrayed your spouse and now regret it. Whatever your situation, there is hope. You are not alone. To save your marriage, you need guidance on what to do and what not to do during the reconciliation process. Your desire to repair your marriage, and not have it end in separation or divorce, is why you are reading this article in the first place.
Your marriage is somewhere in the relationship life cycle, which has six stages:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are most likely in the fourth stage and trying to figure out why you decided to marry this other person in the first place. You might be thinking that your life would happier with someone else. Coming to the realization that your dream of a happy marriage is not coming true is very difficult. The love and romance you enjoyed has vanished and the honeymoon stage is a memory. This is absolutely normal, but emotionally challenging. Feelings of closeness, especially sexual intimacy, can decline or disappear completely. At this point, it is common to consider having an affair. If you have this temptation, do not give in. Honor the vows you took and acquire the skills and techniques to reconnect with your partner. This stage is painful and trying. Of course, it also has the greatest reward. To achieve this reward, equip yourself the skills needed to avoid ending up as a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering 'is there any way to save my marriage'.
The short answer is a resounding 'yes'. In fact, there are a number of options to try depending on your situation. Marriages are saved, and lost love rekindled, every day. You may feel your situation is beyond hope. Perhaps you have felt the sting of ultimate betrayal, such as adultery, or perhaps you have betrayed your spouse and now regret it. Whatever your situation, there is hope. You are not alone. To save your marriage, you need guidance on what to do and what not to do during the reconciliation process. Your desire to repair your marriage, and not have it end in separation or divorce, is why you are reading this article in the first place.
Your marriage is somewhere in the relationship life cycle, which has six stages:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are most likely in the fourth stage and trying to figure out why you decided to marry this other person in the first place. You might be thinking that your life would happier with someone else. Coming to the realization that your dream of a happy marriage is not coming true is very difficult. The love and romance you enjoyed has vanished and the honeymoon stage is a memory. This is absolutely normal, but emotionally challenging. Feelings of closeness, especially sexual intimacy, can decline or disappear completely. At this point, it is common to consider having an affair. If you have this temptation, do not give in. Honor the vows you took and acquire the skills and techniques to reconnect with your partner. This stage is painful and trying. Of course, it also has the greatest reward. To achieve this reward, equip yourself the skills needed to avoid ending up as a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering 'is there any way to save my marriage'.
About the Author:
For more about saving your marriage, then visit Sarah Lindahl's site about the question is there any way to save my marriage, even if you are the only one trying.
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