Thursday, 23 June 2011

Spiritual Life Coaching - Drawing Healthy Boundaries

By Jason Lincoln Jeffers


In the workplace, pain-body bullies will seek out pain-body victims amongst co-workers or subordinates. Sometimes it happens when the bully is a boss or superior who feels that they have earned a "free pass" to mentally bully subordinates. Whatever the case, the bully will act as a pain transmitter who garners temporary relief from their own pain by transferring it on to a receiver, i.e. victim or prey. If you have been a victim and you are truly ready to draw healthy boundaries, then you will benefit greatly from Spiritual Life Coaching.

No matter how much you try to hide your hurt, the pain-body predator will instinctively know when you've been hurt and this is why it keeps coming back for more. Like a vampire that requires the blood of its victim to nourish its own life, the pain-body of an abusive boss or co-worker will return to the source of its food so that it can feast again and again until the victim begins creating healthy boundaries. If that victim is you, and the abuse has culminated to a point where you are suffering frequently because of it, then this is a situation that must be confronted head on in order to prevent further bullying.

As you learn to see your Self as sacred, your sense of Self-respect begins to emerge. This is not ego-related, however. Ego esteem is not the same is true Self esteem. True Self esteem is about creating healthy boundaries of respect around your Self that no one is allowed to cross. No one.

So the next time you're mentally bullied by a boss or co-worker, instead of allowing yourself to continue to be a victim, I suggest confronting your boss or co-worker by communicating their abuse to them in a non-confrontational manner. Either talk to them peacefully in a soft tone of voice or send them an email with a calm yet firm message that conveys how you've been hurt and that you would appreciate it if they could be kinder to you in the future. If they become confrontational and continue to bully you, which they may very well do, then be prepared to walk away. And I mean out the door. But don't do so in a huff, giving them the finger on the way out. Leave the workplace peacefully, with no resistance, and by all means after you've secured employment elsewhere. Otherwise, you'll just attract another bully at your next employer.

Remember that you're dealing with energy that becomes volatile and explosive if triggered. So you have to be very careful when dealing with pain-body hosts who vent their pain by beating you up, especially when they are your superior. It's hard to do, but know that underneath the abuser's hardened exterior is a very sensitive, suffering soul that is unconsciously acting out their own pain. Perhaps they were abused as a child, which is often the case. But whatever the case, if your reading this now then you're definitely ready to transcend the life of a victim. The only way to do this is by becoming conscious that these people are unaware of the pain that they're inflicting.

You also might try by being completely present and not reacting in any way whatsoever to your abuser. This is very challenging for most people but a Spiritual Life Coach can help. If you can learn to do this successfully, it is usually more than enough to put a moratorium on the attacks. When the pain-body host realizes that there's nothing left for it to feed on, i.e. no reaction from you, then it will move on. But this can't be faked. You have to be completely present to accomplish this. It requires non-judgment and a complete detachment to the abuser on an emotional level. If you're not ready to attempt this, then I suggest the aforementioned peaceful confrontation.




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