How do you get a girlfriend, and where do you meet girls that could potentially be your girlfriend? The average person tends to go where everyone else goes, and settles for less than the best like everyone else. Do you see the ironic flaw in this? The flaw is that if everyone else is settling for less than the best, that its actually more realistic to only settle for the best.
It's better to go for the best when it's considered "unrealistic" than to settle for less than the best, because otherwise, if you think it's unrealistic, everyone else will too. So it is actually better that you be a contrarian, step outside of the box, go some place where you are least comfortable, because chances are, everyone else will feel the same way. That means that they wont assume that you are some creep just trying to find a girl for a one night stand, whether you actually are or not.
So perhaps you head over to the bookstore, and you ask someone if they can recommend a few good books that they've read, what they liked about it, and so on. After youve talked to them for a couple minutes, then you can say something like "wow, you really have been a good help... You know, you seem to be an interesting person, I'd like to talk with you more some time, but I actually should be going, do you have an email address or something so I can contact you again sometime?"
There's two reasons to ask for email, 1) It's more convenient 2) It's not as intrusive
In addition, many girls are less comfortable giving their phone numbers, even though they would rather chat on the phone, but when you suggest email, you don't seem invasive, and you seem like someone who they would be comfortable talking with on the phone, so they might even suggest "how about I give you my number instead". It's okay if they don't, just get a pen and paper and tell them to write down their email address. When they are writing it say, why don't you write your number down too just in case I can't get a hold of you through email.
You can try a similar plan in other locations. One excellent place to meet people is by going to meetup.com. That way, rather than forcing yourself to try something you don't like just because someone else finds it interesting, you can find something interesting that someone else likes as well. You can do this by finding a meetup group and you will hopefully find some interest you have and something that others share an interest in. This will give you plenty of things to talk about that get both of you feeling passionate about, and getting the right feelings associated with each other is an excellent start to what potentially could be a good relationship..
On the other hand, if you want to be interesting to others, you need to find out what types of things they find interesting. If they want someone adventurous, you need to be adventurous. It's better to find out what they actually have a history of finding interesting, vs what they tell you, however, usually people will at least tell you part of the story. So if you're talking with someone you are interested in, maybe ask her what was the last relationship she was in, and usually she'll talk about what went wrong and why they broke up. This is fine, but not what you want to focus on. So you can then ask, but what made you interested in him in the first place? More than likely she'll say something like "I don't know... I guess I thought he was...." and then say something. Some women will describe all the things they don't like about a guy, yet if she met a guy with identical traits would still find herself feeling attracted to him. Such is life, we don't always feel the emotions we want to feel. So while a woman might say "I just wish I could find a nice guy I was attracted to, she really means, I just do not find nice guys attractive, but I can't help but fall for the "bad" guy. It's not that you can't be nice if that's who you are, it's that there are certain traits that the "bad boys" have that she's attracted to. By asking questions such as "how did you two first meet, and how did you feel at the time, you can gain insights on what kind of things she feels attracted to. Of course, having an actual girlfriend is more than just being interesting, it is about a connection, and you can only make that connection if you get her in the right emotional state. Being interesting is only just the start.
It's better to go for the best when it's considered "unrealistic" than to settle for less than the best, because otherwise, if you think it's unrealistic, everyone else will too. So it is actually better that you be a contrarian, step outside of the box, go some place where you are least comfortable, because chances are, everyone else will feel the same way. That means that they wont assume that you are some creep just trying to find a girl for a one night stand, whether you actually are or not.
So perhaps you head over to the bookstore, and you ask someone if they can recommend a few good books that they've read, what they liked about it, and so on. After youve talked to them for a couple minutes, then you can say something like "wow, you really have been a good help... You know, you seem to be an interesting person, I'd like to talk with you more some time, but I actually should be going, do you have an email address or something so I can contact you again sometime?"
There's two reasons to ask for email, 1) It's more convenient 2) It's not as intrusive
In addition, many girls are less comfortable giving their phone numbers, even though they would rather chat on the phone, but when you suggest email, you don't seem invasive, and you seem like someone who they would be comfortable talking with on the phone, so they might even suggest "how about I give you my number instead". It's okay if they don't, just get a pen and paper and tell them to write down their email address. When they are writing it say, why don't you write your number down too just in case I can't get a hold of you through email.
You can try a similar plan in other locations. One excellent place to meet people is by going to meetup.com. That way, rather than forcing yourself to try something you don't like just because someone else finds it interesting, you can find something interesting that someone else likes as well. You can do this by finding a meetup group and you will hopefully find some interest you have and something that others share an interest in. This will give you plenty of things to talk about that get both of you feeling passionate about, and getting the right feelings associated with each other is an excellent start to what potentially could be a good relationship..
On the other hand, if you want to be interesting to others, you need to find out what types of things they find interesting. If they want someone adventurous, you need to be adventurous. It's better to find out what they actually have a history of finding interesting, vs what they tell you, however, usually people will at least tell you part of the story. So if you're talking with someone you are interested in, maybe ask her what was the last relationship she was in, and usually she'll talk about what went wrong and why they broke up. This is fine, but not what you want to focus on. So you can then ask, but what made you interested in him in the first place? More than likely she'll say something like "I don't know... I guess I thought he was...." and then say something. Some women will describe all the things they don't like about a guy, yet if she met a guy with identical traits would still find herself feeling attracted to him. Such is life, we don't always feel the emotions we want to feel. So while a woman might say "I just wish I could find a nice guy I was attracted to, she really means, I just do not find nice guys attractive, but I can't help but fall for the "bad" guy. It's not that you can't be nice if that's who you are, it's that there are certain traits that the "bad boys" have that she's attracted to. By asking questions such as "how did you two first meet, and how did you feel at the time, you can gain insights on what kind of things she feels attracted to. Of course, having an actual girlfriend is more than just being interesting, it is about a connection, and you can only make that connection if you get her in the right emotional state. Being interesting is only just the start.
About the Author:
You can learn dating and relationship tips such as how to kiss and learn all about Erik Von Markovik and his famous Mystery Method at the Mind of Mystery | Mystery Method blog.
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