You probably know someone like this. They have a rising career, terrific friends, tons of hobbies; everything that makes life complete, with one exception. Then comes the frosting on the cake of life. They sign up for internet dating and meet "the one" complete with kisses, butterflies and complete chemistry.
A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren't receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??
For most of us one of life's goals is to meet someone special and establish a relationship that will not only make us happy but that enables us to keep a sense of independence. We want to share, not surrender; so how do we do that?
When we're dating someone new, everything is wonderful, especially that "feeling". You know the one; it's amazing! You're connected to someone. For most new couples, that "feeling" is best realized when they're alone, without outside interference.
Dont get me wrong, this is one of the few perfect things that exists; the time of getting to know everything about each other, developing all your little habits and routines as the bourgeoning pair you areits amazing and I know its like nothing else exists for awhile.
But the other things? They still exist. And believe it or not, there will come a day when you shake out of your love daze (not out of love, necessarily, but out of the daze), look up and realize that youve let the other important parts of your life fall into disrepair.
I'm not saying that it always happens this way. There are actually people, though I've never met them, who are able to maintain a life balance when starting a new relationship. I'm definitely not one of them!
I actually like being crazy in love. I like NOT being balanced and logical. I like being completely wrapped up in someone new. But I can't let it go on for too long without feeling out of sorts that I've let other areas of my life slip away from me.
So how do we achieve that balance? How do we keep our ties and commitments to others while we're being swept away by a new romantic interest?
This is the point at which we need to know the difference between compatibility and chemistry. That electric spark is chemistry, and it has nothing to do with how compatible you will be in your day to day lives.
Finding someone who makes give your butterflies is much easier than finding someone who share your zeal for Extreme Frisbee or skeet shooting. Now I'm not saying that you have to find your twin to have a successful love life; it's all about compromise. However, the closer someone is to your current way of life, the easier it will be to bridge your coupledom and your single status.
Hey, no one ever said forging a functional relationship was easybut when you find someone who makes your knees weak, will engage in the things you are already into, and (if youre really lucky) actually like spending time with your friends, youll see every area of your life becoming drastically improved and love-filled. And thats something worth waiting and working for.
A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren't receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??
For most of us one of life's goals is to meet someone special and establish a relationship that will not only make us happy but that enables us to keep a sense of independence. We want to share, not surrender; so how do we do that?
When we're dating someone new, everything is wonderful, especially that "feeling". You know the one; it's amazing! You're connected to someone. For most new couples, that "feeling" is best realized when they're alone, without outside interference.
Dont get me wrong, this is one of the few perfect things that exists; the time of getting to know everything about each other, developing all your little habits and routines as the bourgeoning pair you areits amazing and I know its like nothing else exists for awhile.
But the other things? They still exist. And believe it or not, there will come a day when you shake out of your love daze (not out of love, necessarily, but out of the daze), look up and realize that youve let the other important parts of your life fall into disrepair.
I'm not saying that it always happens this way. There are actually people, though I've never met them, who are able to maintain a life balance when starting a new relationship. I'm definitely not one of them!
I actually like being crazy in love. I like NOT being balanced and logical. I like being completely wrapped up in someone new. But I can't let it go on for too long without feeling out of sorts that I've let other areas of my life slip away from me.
So how do we achieve that balance? How do we keep our ties and commitments to others while we're being swept away by a new romantic interest?
This is the point at which we need to know the difference between compatibility and chemistry. That electric spark is chemistry, and it has nothing to do with how compatible you will be in your day to day lives.
Finding someone who makes give your butterflies is much easier than finding someone who share your zeal for Extreme Frisbee or skeet shooting. Now I'm not saying that you have to find your twin to have a successful love life; it's all about compromise. However, the closer someone is to your current way of life, the easier it will be to bridge your coupledom and your single status.
Hey, no one ever said forging a functional relationship was easybut when you find someone who makes your knees weak, will engage in the things you are already into, and (if youre really lucky) actually like spending time with your friends, youll see every area of your life becoming drastically improved and love-filled. And thats something worth waiting and working for.
About the Author:
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more professional dating posts.
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